Friendship and Longing

14 08 2011

I really miss my friends today. Heartbreakingly, profoundly and with the strongest kind of longing I would give anything to be sitting in a restaurant with Julia and Tainz and a plate of something of Melbourne standard, a glass of something from the Yarra Valley.

My heart breaks a little more when I think of how close I am to so many wonderful friends here in Paris, about as far from home as I can be. This begs the question, among others, of where I belong, and where I will end up. Between missing home, keeping up the friendships here and wishing well those who leave at the end of their stint here, it’s some of the hardest stuff I’ve ever had to deal with. And it doesn’t ever stop, or get any easier.

I wish I could be there to read her face and ask her what is really going on, what she’s not telling me, because bonds like we have go beyond words to a place where we are one mind in separate bodies, and it has taken years to get to this point, and I fear that in just months, or even days, I could lose it.

I am glad that I have had the means to be able to fly home to share the joy of Julia’s beautiful wedding, or just chilled out times over oysters and Cuvée Riche at a fabulous vineyard with Tainz, and I feed off these times when I feel a million miles from home.

There are moments when someone here will make me so happy that I forget all this for a while, a memorable one being when Sophie left me the last piece of chocolate at work, because she knows how much I love it. I still think back to that and it makes me smile. Tainz sends me cards with rude pictures, because she knows I will appreciate it.

I think the trick is not to think too much, to stay in touch, to make sure people know that you love them, no matter how far away you are, that you are thinking of them and sending them love always.

I love you. You know who you are.




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